


Pictures of You

by Yaki_Chizu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Hange Zoë, Angst, Other, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6563830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaki_Chizu/pseuds/Yaki_Chizu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not good at summaries:</p><p>"He’s quiet a minute before nodding, taking a few breaths before hands grip their shirt. “Hey,” he says softly, pulling them close. “Don’t be scared, ok?”<br/>“I’m not scared!”<br/>His eyes narrow. “Don’t lie to me.”<br/>There’s hesitation before Hanji opens their mouth. “Alright, I’m scared-- well, worried. About you. I can’t help it so don’t go telling me not to worry.”<br/>Levi’s unsure what to say. It makes him feel horrible. This was why he was afraid to get close. He felt like a burden. “I’m sorry…”<br/>“Heeeey!” They look around before pulling him into a hug. “Don’t be sorry! Don’t be sorry at all! You didn’t do anything wrong!” Pulling back, they wear a bright smile. “Hey, remember this?”<br/>“Remember…?”<br/>Suddenly Hanji starts cheering “Pain pain, go away!” between kisses all over his face. Something they hadn’t done in highschool, because they were sure it annoyed Levi-- but now they hoped it made him feel better.<br/>And it did. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pain, Pain, Go Away!

“I wanna go out.” 

“Out? Levi, it’s 2AM. What’s even open?”

“Denny’s.”

“Always so matter of fact. Fine, we’ll go out.” 

Flashback. The date is April 22, a warm spring day. The sky is blue and full, with puffy white clouds lazily drifting across. A day of happiness, really. Days like this were hard to be sad on. There was a gentle breeze, carrying the sweet scent of orange blossoms on it. Even inside, Hanji could smell it, as the window was open. They sat hunched over a lab bench, trying desperately to finish their lab work while open lab was still available. Typically, Hanji was an excellent student. They never fell behind. This was their fifth year and they were all set to transfer at the end of the semester to a prestigious medical school. Their dream. And yet lately, they weren’t as excited as they used to be.

Lately, they were beginning to wonder if this was the right field for them. Yes, they wanted to save people-- but what about those they couldn’t? Could they handle that? It was something that had been eating away at them lately, and it showed. Their lack of attention in class, ditching lecture, dropping test grades, the likes. They were just not feeling motivated anymore.

But they didn’t want to fail. They were trying, oh were they trying to pick themselves back up. It was getting harder and harder though. They couldn’t save everyone, after all, as much as they wanted to. And what if--

“I thought I’d find you here.” A voice breaks Hanji from their thoughts and they lift their head to see a familiar face in the doorway. Their heart races, and a gasp gets caught in their throat before the quickly get up to their feet and grin like mad. 

“You! You had me worried sick! Two weeks, two weeks is a long time!” But seeing his face, they could cry.

“Eh, not really,” Levi said gruffly, his voice muffled by the medical mask he’s wearing. “But it’s fine now, forget it.”

Hanji sucks a breath in and is angry a moment. Levi was lying, and they both knew it. But Hanji also knows it isn’t out of spite, or malice. In fact he’s trying to be nice. He doesn’t want them to worry, but they’re going to worry anyways. They can’t help it. Because they knew all about Levi. “Fine, I won’t pry, even though it’s in my major to pry at people like you.”

“...People like me?” He feigns offense, knowing exactly what they mean. Of course Hanji was interested in Levi. He was a patient, they were a future doctor. Why wouldn’t they be interested? 

“Yeah, cute little things like you,” they tease, beckoning Levi over. They were the only one in open lab, after all. Everyone else actually got the work done. “We did a EKGs today. All I have left to do is find the various waves.”

Levi pretends he doesn’t care. But really, it was nice to see Hanji interested, though lately that was lacking. That glow in their eyes, that pitch in their voice. He missed it, and he knew it was all his fault it wasn’t there anymore. “That’s nice. When are you out of here?”

Sighing, Hanji closes their journal and gets to their feet. “I can get out of here now. The rest can be done at home.” With a cheeky smile, they pull him into a hug, grimacing slightly at his thinning frame. 

“Ew,” he groans, not really meaning it. “Let me go. And let’s get out of here then. I’ve eaten nothing but hospital food for the last two weeks. I need something gruesomely unhealthy.”

He watches as they haphazardly throw their things together before both are walking down the hall, discussing where to eat. Hanji wants badly to pester about why Levi was in the hospital, but they know it isn’t something he enjoys talking about. Why would he? It had to be depressing. Looking at his face mask, they can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness.

And Levi notices it. “Wait here,” he says, very suddenly disappearing. Something he did often, so Hanji stands and waits, hands in their pockets as people brush past them. It would make sense; likely a few classes just got out. Through the crowd they spot a set of freshman they’d come to like. They’d met by mistake; Eren had been choking at a restaurant and Hanji and Levi happened to be there, the former of the two actually knowing how to assess the situation. A few weeks later they bump into each other again, that is, Hanji caught Eren before he toppled down the stairs. From that point it was one accident to another, and Hanji and Levi always seemed to be right there. From this, a friendship developed. Eren was accident prone and Hanji typically got to use their medical skills to assess him, which certainly made them feel special. And now they hang out, Hanji and Levi help Eren and his friend with homework and the likes, Eren and Armin usually treat them to food as thanks. Though this time Hanji thought it might be fun for them all to go out for food seems Levi was back.  Like a celebration. “Yoooo Eren!”

In seconds the brunet spots Hanji in the crowd. Armin has trouble keeping the boy runs so fast. Eren was a little eccentric. “Hanji! I’m glad I found you actually-- I have a test and I have no idea about anything on it. I was gonna wing it but maybe you could help…?”

Hanji sighs softly.  _ Oh, Eren _ . But they understood. He was in a similar mindset, though they admired just how much he was trying. Still smiling, still pushing himself to at least not fail. They didn’t know his story, but there was much that could be assumed by looking at him, and lots to be interpreted from his Instagram and Tumblr ranting. Late nights led to lots of insight. “Sure, I can help you out. But not tonight. Tonight we’re gonna go out, huh?”

Armin looks to Eren before cocking his head to the side. “Out?”

Hanji grins excitedly before they’re suddenly yanked back. Levi. They’re about to ask what the hell that was for before they realize just where he’d disappeared to. His mask...there was the most adorable little cat mouth. Hanji had to laugh because that was adorable. He was trying to make something that worried them something innocent and cute. “What are you planning without me?,” he demands.

Hanji giggles a bit before tugging Levi back to Eren and Armin. “We’re celebrating!,” they cheer. “Levi’s out of the hospital!”

The younger two of the group stare wide eyed before Eren wears a wide smile. “Hey look at that! Jeez Levi, you ok?” 

“What happened?”

Instantly, Levi pales. This was a subject he never enjoyed discussing, even with Hanji. And they were about to change the subject but he figured, what was the point? “I got sick,” he said flatly. It wasn’t a lie. But it was a vast understatement. 

“Yeesh...well I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” Eren says cautiously.

Armin nods. “Well, mostly better at least. Try and take it easy, though. Wouldn’t want you to overdo it.”

Levi hates the pity, but he says nothing. His hands go to his pockets as he looks away, suppressing a cough because there was just so many people around.

Hanji glances at Levi before starting to walk, now chattering with Eren and Armin about good places to eat. Levi keeps quiet, though he tries to contribute to the conversation every now and again, though it’s typically some two bit sarcasm. Levi’s special.

_ So much for fast food… _ Levi looks somewhat unimpressed as the foursome step into a place Armin suggests; a restaurant that’s in his family name. He practically grew up in the place, as well as Eren, and the two figured it might be a nice place to celebrate if that’s indeed what they’re doing. Levi was hoping for somewhere a little more low brow, but watching Hanji basically instantly fall in love with the place, he wouldn’t complain. It was nice to see them not worry for once. They find a seat, together, and immediately start to talk away again. But Levi doesn’t say much of anything, just leans slightly against Hanji and enjoys the warmth. He missed having them around. They did all the talking for the both of them, which he didn’t mind in the slightest. He could listen to them talk all day-- though he’d never admit it.

“Levi said he wanted something, what’d you say Levi? Something grossly unhealthy?,” Hanji tilts their head and quite literally pokes at him. “Fried food, maybe? Ya wanna share something?”

He shoves their hand away playfully and tugs at Hanji’s menu, even if his own is right in front of him. But he’d missed her, and was feeling especially clingy. In his own way, at least. Instead of fawning over Hanji or doing something like crawling in their lap, he’d just keep close and pester. It seemed that was their way of showing their affections for one another. “If you don’t eat it all. You always do that when we share.”

“You just need to eat faster,” Hanji jokes. “I promise I’ll save you half.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

As he ends up stealing the whole menu, Eren begins to pull things from his bag. “Hey, Levi, I’ve actually been meaning to give this to you, and it’s funny you’d draw that on your mask.” Reaching over the table, he hands a package to Levi and wears a childish grin. Armin, who knows exactly what it is, starts to giggle slightly as well. 

“Eren, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.”

Masks. Washable, cloth face masks in red, white, and black and all with various different smiles on them, including a cat. “What’s so funny?,” Levi asks blankly.

“We’re helping ya smile,” Armin teased. 

Levi rolls his eyes, though he’s actually a bit touched. “Stupid kids,” he grumbles. It doesn’t help that Hanji is nearly in tears they’re laughing so hard. 

“They’re adorable,” they tease. “Levi say thank you.”

“Are you my mother?”

Armin shakes his head. “You two, I swear. Arguing like a married couple.”

Food is ordered, received, and for once, things seem to be going fine. Hanji is smiling, happy, Eren and Armin are nearly in tears they’re laughing so hard, and Levi can’t help but wear a small smile-- even if Hanji hasn’t left him very little of their so called shared plate. It didn’t matter, he figured. He’d just drag Hanji out to get more food later. 

“I’ll be right back.” It’s very sudden and curtly said as Levi gets up. He nearly crashes into a waiter but he’s graceful as always as he brushes past and slips into the bathroom, relieved he’s alone in there. 

“Eh?” Eren finds the whole ordeal slightly strange, especially given the look on Hanji’s face. “Is he alright?”

They grip at their napkin before turning back to Eren and Armin and flashing a smile. “He’s fine.”  _ He’s just taking a piss, calm down Han. _ They even manage to make themself believe that before their phone rings in their pocket. A text.

[In here. Now.]

They pale, but try not to let Eren and Armin in on their worries. “Now I can see why Levi had to pee so bad, this damn tea. ‘Scuse me guys.” They don’t give the pair of boys a chance to react before they’re in that men’s bathroom, flinching at the sight of Levi nearly doubled over and coughing like mad. “Don’t panic,” they tell themself. “Levi, it’s me.”

He looks up a moment and beckons Hanji over somewhat aggressively. “Don’t gauk--” he chokes out. “Help me a minute!” 

Grimacing, Hanji nods, knowing what he means. It’s never fun to do, as they’re always afraid of hurting him, but what else can they do? Balling their hand into a fist, they pound his back over and over until he’s able to breathe more regularly now. “Hey, Levi, did that work? You good?”

He’s quiet a minute before nodding, taking a few breaths before hands grip their shirt. “Hey,” he says softly, pulling them close. “Don’t be scared, ok?” 

“I’m not scared!”

His eyes narrow. “Don’t lie to me.”

There’s hesitation before Hanji opens their mouth. “Alright, I’m scared-- well, worried. About you. I can’t help it so don’t go telling me not to worry.”

Levi’s unsure what to say. It makes him feel horrible. This was why he was afraid to get close. He felt like a burden. “I’m sorry…”

“Heeeey!” They look around before pulling him into a hug. “Don’t be sorry! Don’t be sorry at all! You didn’t do anything wrong!” Pulling back, they wear a bright smile. “Hey, remember this?”

“Remember…?”

Suddenly Hanji starts cheering “Pain pain, go away!” between kisses all over his face. Something they hadn’t done in highschool, because they were sure it annoyed Levi-- but now they hoped it made him feel better.

And it did. His face says otherwise but he can’t help the underlying smile in his gaze. Where would he be without Hanji? “Ok quit it, you’ve got germs.”

Giggling, Hanji stops before hugging Levi again. “No being sorry, got it? Good. Now come on, I think we got Eren and Armin worried.”

“What are we gonna tell them?” Because Levi would rather avoid the truth.

“I got something…” And by the look in their eye, it was something mischievous. 

They both sit, and Levi takes a sip of water, his throat feeling dry. Eyes watch as Hanji acts casual as ever.

“I thought one of ya might’ve fallen in,” Eren joked, wearing a smirk as he chewed on a french fry. But there was worry in his gaze.

“Nah. We were fucking. A quickie.” Hanji says this so casually as Levi beside them nearly chokes on his drink, getting water all over himself and his food. 

“Shit...sorry I asked.” The look on Eren’s face really seals it, and then there’s Armin, giggling madly. Eren’s so damn gullible.

Grabbing a napkin, Levi rolls his eyes. “You and me both…” 

It’s a Friday. The weekend is coming. Typically, this would call for grand get togethers and study sessions. But when Hanji comes bounding to Levi’s dorm, they find he’s not there. His roommate is, but no Levi to be found.

“Yo, Erwin?” Hanji smiles as the knock on the already open door. With how hot it was getting, it was common for windows and doors to be left open. “Seen Levi around?”

“Ah, ya just missed him,” the other replies. “He said he’s going home for the weekend.” 

“Eh? Really? Do ya think he left?”

The man looks down at his watch and shakes his head. “The bus hasn’t arrived yet, so he’s still here.”

Hanji blinks in confusion. “Bus? What about his car?”

“Oh….” Erwin glances away. “He sold it, recently. Said he needed money.” It would make sense that Erwin knew before Hanji. Sure, they were both close with Levi, but Erwin was his best friend, not to mention the two lived together. So Hanji wasn’t upset by this.

“I told him I’d…” They shook their head. “Alright, well thank you. I’m gonna go find him.”

Erwin mentally prays that goes ok. “Alright, have a good weekend then, whatever you end up doing.”

Already Hanji’s taking their leave. “You too, and I know exactly what I’m doing.”

A song plays in his ears, as he’s using headphones to stop thinking. The last thing he wants to do is take the bus forty miles to home. He’s so still it’s like a scene in a movie, his form dark against the paling hues of the sky. He wears a backpack, his hair hangs in his face, hands in the pockets of his hoodie despite the heat. Beneath his mask, he’s quietly singing along.  _ Don’t feel bad for me, I want you to know, deep in the cell of my heart I will feel so glad to go… _

Thoughts are broken when he’s suddenly grabbed by the hood and yanked away from his quiet little spot. “Jeez, you fuck, I have trouble breathing as it is, don’t need you choking me,” he snaps, not knowing who this is and not caring.

“Jeez yourself,” Hanji says, spinning him around to face them. “Where are you off to?”

“Home.”

“On the bus? Levi, you hate the bus.”

“I don’t have a car.”

Hanji wants to be mean, wants to yell some sense into him...but they just feel sad. Pulling him close, the breathe in his sweet scent softly and press a kiss to his neck. “Don’t you hate the bus?”

“Mmhm…”

“But ya wanna go home, yeah?”

“Mmhm…”

“Why not let me drive you?”

“No.”

“No?” Hanji pulls away, wearing a childish pout. “You were supposed to say ‘mmhm’ again!”

He rolls his eyes at their logic.

“Levi there’s like, a thousand and one diseases on the bus. Do you really want bronchitis again? Or pneumonia?” They cross their arms and tap their foot like an angry mother.

Levi, on the other hand, knows this is a losing battle. But he tries. “No, but I don’t see any other options.”

“Hello? I’m an option! What is it? You don’t want to sit in the car with me that long?”

“No, that’s not--”

“Then what is it?,” Hanji demands. 

A long sigh. “I’d rather not take you home.”

“Why? What’s so wrong with me?”

“Nothing. At all. But I’d rather not expose you to the spectacle that is Kenny.”

“Oh, Levi…” Hanji wears a sympathetic smile as they tilt his chin up. “We can’t pick our family. Trust me, nothing he does or says will change how I think about you. And you know how stubborn I am. He’s not going to scare me off. Ok?”

It’s well over a minute before he answers. “Fine,” he breathes. “But I’m buying gas.”

“No no,” Hanji grins. “This trip’s on me! I’ve been wanting an excuse to get outta here a bit! Plus I’ve been itching to see where you’re from! You said in Sina, the drive to Sina is so beautiful, so many trees…” They ramble on and on and Levi can only watch with a faint smile. Glancing down, he lifts the poloroid camera that’s always around his neck, as he is a photography student, and snaps a picture of Hanji mid ramble. It prints instantly and he feels a warmth in his cheeks as he watches it develop.

“Hey!,” they cry. “Don’t take pictures of me when I’m not ready!”

“Those are the best ones,” he says softly. “I like the real you.” 


	2. What about a Drive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A weekend away from school.

“Don’t listen to it.”

Turning their head a bit, Hanji looks confused. “Listen to what?”

“My stomach.” Slouching in his seat, he wraps arms around his middle and stares grumpily out the window.

“Oh.” They’d be lying if they said they hadn’t noticed it. Levi’s stomach was always loud, very sensitive. They wondered if it bothered him or if he was just used to it, but they wouldn’t ask. “Well here, plug your iPod in,” the offer, tossing him the auxiliary chord. They figured some noise to fill the air would make him less self conscious. 

After all, it was to be a long drive. Forty miles wasn’t terribly far, but Levi had forgotten there was a festival in Sina this weekend. Traffic was murder. Hanji didn’t mind, though. They loved driving. “Hey, so how about we take the back way? It can’t take any longer than this traffic, right?” And it was a much prettier drive.

Levi, who’s looking for a song and decides on shuffle because his stomach was just getting louder, nods. “Fine by me.” He doesn’t care how long it takes, just as long as they get there. 

“Good good.” Smiling and humming along, the pulled onto the off ramp and gasped at how quickly the scenery changed. Trees all over, very little light, stars in the sky. Stunning.

But it didn’t seem Levi was so amused by the world outside the window. In Hanji’s opinion, he looked almost pained.

“Ehy, you ok?,” they ask, reaching a hand over and rubbing his shoulder. “Lunch not sitting well?”

“Mm…” An inaudible noise, really, but Levi was full of those. Almost like a second language, which Hanji had grown to understand. They found it somewhat adorable. 

“So maybe ‘grossly unhealthy’ was a bad idea. How about a nice salad tomorrow? Ooh, or maybe sushi. Asian food’s super healthy.” They knew greasy, unhealthy food usually upset his stomach but wouldn’t stop him from eating it if he really wanted to.

“You’re staying the weekend?” That was how Hanji made it sound, in Levi’s opinion. He wished they wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t stop them either, for selfish reasons.

“Well I don’t want to drive back yet, I might fall asleep or something, and plus my plans would get messed up,” they replied with a smile.

“Your plans? Plans to what?”

“Bother you all weekend!”

Of course. But Levi didn’t mind. Things would be far nicer with Hanji around. Glancing over, he just shakes his head and sighs, slouching further in his seat and praying for this stomachache to go away. An amused gaze falls over his features as he watches Hanji sing along, quite terribly, to all of his music. Even if they didn’t know the words, they tried their best. All to make Levi feel better. 

Which worked. He felt somewhat relaxed as he gives directions to his house, somewhat embarrassed by how the city deteriorates the further they go in. Sina, to most, was a beautiful, glamorous place-- and it had nice spots like that. The touristy spots. Levi was unfortunately from the seedy underbelly of the area. It was dangerous, dirty, and overcrowded in Levi’s opinion. “Turn the music down,” he warns. “If you wake someone up you might get jumped or something.” An exaggeration, maybe, but he wanted to be careful.

“Got it,” Hanji nods. They can’t help but feel bad for Levi as they look around. Was this where he grew up? Looking at him, they could see some of that. But at the same time, he seemed far nicer than these streets. He looked out of place and yet at the same time, not. “Ooh,” they muse, watching his house come into view. “Your home is so old, you got ghosts, Levi?”

“Probably,” he mumbles, sitting up. Eyes scan the area and he can’t help but grimace at the liquor bottles in the trash. Seemed Kenny was still drinking. “Hm...stay here a minute.” He doesn’t give Hanji a chance to argue before he’s out of the car and pounding on his door. “Hey, open up!” No reply. “God damn it…” Levi sighs as he digs around for his keys before the door opens, and aged man before him. 

“Jeezus Levi, you gotta knock so loud?”

“Open the door the first time and I wouldn’t.”

This was the way they greeted each other. The relationship between uncle and nephew as strange. It was like they pretended to hate each other just because. “Well shit,” Kenny grins. “What ‘re you doin’ here so late at night anyways? Traffic’s bad?”

“Mm…” A similar answer he’d give Hanji. “Ya wanna put some clothes on? I know it’s late but we got company. And…” He tugs down his mask and grimaces at the smell of body odor. “Deodorant?”

“Jeez, anything else ya little punk?”

“Yeah. You sick?”

“No, ‘m fine.” 

“Good,” Levi states, looking slightly disgusted as he hugged Kenny. “Missed ya.”

“Must have,” Kenny replies with a smile. “Let me go now, get yer guest inside and I will be  _ presentable _ .”

“Got it.” Turning on his heel, he returns to the car and motions for Hanji to join him. “I’m going to apologize ahead of time for what the place looks like or whatever Kenny does…” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Hanji cheers, marching up to his door with Levi at their heels. Upon opening the door, he grimaces. The place is a mess, covered in an inch of dust. The house itself is small. Two bedrooms, the kitchen and living room are connected, and there’s one bathroom. Levi’s eyes narrow at the various bottles of medications on the table. 

“Er…” He grabs Hanji by the sleeve and drags them to his room. Same as always. Rather plain, always neat, though he wanted to dust bad. Sure, it was approaching eleven at night, but he couldn’t stand the mess. “You can sit here or whatever. I’m gonna clean up.”

“Levi, come on, rela--”

“I can’t relax until things are picked up around here.” It just stressed him out.

They want to argue but can’t. They know it’s best to just let him figure it out, even if he’s coughing like he might keel over any minute. Sitting on his bed, they stare down at their feet and just wait for Levi to finish, watching as he pulls various things from his closet. He was the only person they knew who went out of his way to buy cleaning supplies. Leaning back on his bed, the poke around at his things, finding a journal. “I’m gonna read this, ok?” It was more said to distract him.

“Go ahead,” he mutters, not caring. Because he doesn’t bother to tell them it’s going to be full of boring literature responses. Something from highschool. 

Hanji read away anyways, even after Levi leaves to clean the rest of the house. They find his penmanship interesting, and get a feel on what he likes based on the various things he read. It was also nice to see he got good grades. Part of them feels pride because they remember many nights of helping him. But it was always at their house, never here. “Maybe he’s ashamed…” 

“Oh lord. He’s cleaning.” A voice in the doorway. “You didn’t stop him?”

Looking up, Hanji offers a smile to Kenny. “You should know your nephew, Mr.Ackerman. He’s a stubborn shit.”

Right away, Kenny decides he and Hanji are going to get along fine. “I like you,” he grins. “No Mr.Ackerman shit though-- just Kenny. Now…” He steps in Levi’s room and tries to look intimidating as he sticks his hands in his pockets. “What are your intentions with my nephew?”

“Drive him nuts,” Hanji says with a beaming smile.

Kenny can’t help but snicker. “I like you.” He’s about to add more when he can hear Levi yelling for him. “What!?,” he shouts back.

“Don’t ‘what’ me, get your ass in here!” Hanji can’t help but giggle at that. Who was in charge here, they wondered. They follow Kenny to witness the spectacle between the two men, already finding this relationship amusing. 

“What?,” Kenny huffs again, crossing his arms as he glares at Levi.

“This letter to refill your prescription is over two weeks old. Have you been taking your medication?” His eyes narrow as he holds an empty bottle in his hand.

“It ain’t my fault-- there’s so many-- I can’t keep up, jeez I’m old!”

“I manage just fine. No excuse.”

Kenny rolls his eyes. “Fine, fine,” he huffs. “Tomorrow I will get ‘em refilled. It’s hard to remember without yer stupid little notes around.”

“Then I’ll make more, and don’t take them down this time.” Setting the bottle down, he unplugs the vacuum and starts to roll the chord up. “You gotta take care of yourself.”

“Says you, brat. I hear you were in the hospital recently.”

Levi immediately is ready to blame Hanji. “Oi, why’d you tell him?”

“I did not!”

“Yer school called, seems you didn’t.” Kenny sighs as his tone softens a bit. 

“If you knew you could’ve visited.” Levi’s voice is bitter.

Hanji feels uneasy, and decides to step in. “Hey now, enough. No point in arguing, right? Let’s change the subject. Hi Mr.Ackerman, my name’s Hanji, and I’m Levi’s partner.”

“Partner?”

Levi grows a bit pale. Hopefully Kenny wasn’t going to be an ass considering Hanji’s gender. “Er...yeah, partner.”

What happens next isn’t what the other expects. “Shit Levi, you getting married or something? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

Hanji laughs. “Married? Well, not yet. Maybe though.”

“Why haven’t I met you before?” Though Kenny’s more asking Levi than Hanji.

“Reasons. Now go to bed, old man. It’s late.” Levi himself was considering doing the same.

“Fine,” he grumbles. “You too, then. You sound like shit.”

Levi can’t sleep, though. Not only did he “sound like shit”-- he felt it too. Luckily for him, Hanji can’t sleep either. Too much iced tea too late in the day. It doesn’t help that they’re nervous as hell, as is Levi. Neither had shared a bed before. Hanji worried about something happening with Levi while they were asleep. Levi, on the other hand, was still embarrassed over the sounds of his stomach. 

Which he felt the need to address as he rolls over and nuzzles his face into their chest. “I’m sorry about the noises my stomach’s making.”

“It’s fine,” Hanji assures, hand resting in Levi’s hair. “Just promise me an alien’s not gonna come out.”

He just hums in reply, finally, at three in the morning, feeling tired. Hanji’s proving to be a comfortable place to sleep. “Go t’ sleep,” he mumbles, trying to reach over them to get the lamp.

Hanji turns it off for him. “I will, I will. Just getting comfortable.” 

He hums again, more asleep than awake now. Hanji can tell he’s drifting off by his occasional sighs and the way his grip on their shirt loosens. Looking at him, they realize that neither of them changed out of their clothes, and they gently tug that mask off his face. Had to be easier to breathe without it, they figure. Plus, they loved his nose, and the delicate parting of his lips. All they want to do is kiss him, but they know he needs sleep, so they resist the urge. Hands gently run through his hair over and over, smiling softly when he presses closer.  _ Oh well _ , they figure.  _ I’m not tired anyways. _ They want to watch him all night, more to be sure nothing happened. It was something that always worried them every night, especially considering how long he was just in the hospital. But he seemed so relaxed right now, as if everything was just perfect. Oh, how Hanji wished.

Just as morning begins to pour in through the window, Hanji manages to fall asleep, arms wrapped around Levi as if to protect him. That’s all they wanted, to protect him from everything that might hurt him. An impossible dream, but dream they did. 

What wakes them is a tight grip on their shirt. Their eyes shoot open and they look down at Levi, a gasp caught in their throat and they feel panic. He looks pained-- very pained-- and he’s coughing almost desperately. “Ok Levi, it’s ok, don’t worry I’m here to help.” The sit up and help him do the same, before starting to pound on his back. “Just tell me when to stop, ok?”

He nods as he continues to cough, feeling like he’s choking. Tears prick the corners of his eyes before he can taste something awful-- phlegm. But it helps, a lot, and he motions for Hanji to stop before reaching over them and grabbing a tissue.

“You ok Levi…?” Hanji could cry they’re so worried. They’d never heard him cough so violently. Rubbing his back, they press their forehead to his and offer an apologetic smile. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, rubbing his chest. “I’m sorry.” 

“What did I say? No being sorry.” They press a kiss to his temple. “No being sorry at all. I had to wake up anyways. What time is it?”

Levi leans against them and glances at his clock on the wall. “Noon...I was enjoying watching you sleep.”

“Funny you’d say that,” they mused. “I was enjoying watching you sleep last night. You’re a cute sleeper.” 

It makes him blush a bit, and he sighs as he presses closer to them, hands mindlessly finding theirs. “So are you. I took a picture too.” Before they can scold him, he climbs over them, getting off of his bed to find his scrap book. Sitting down, he beckons them closer and opens it up. Inside, at least on the page he turned to, were all pictures of Hanji. Smiling Hanji, laughing Hanji, talking Hanji, scientific Hanji, and now, sleeping Hanji. 

“Levi...when did you take all of these?” They’re somewhat flattered. It was adorable. He did all these things that said “I love you” without ever once saying the words. Hanji didn’t need to hear it. It was all there.

“Whenever I could,” he says softly. “I like to have these on hand. Usually when I can’t sleep.”

“You...dork.” Hanji could cry. Leaning close, they kiss his forehead affectionately. “You precious dork.”

“Tch...shut up. How often do I open up? Ass.” A light tease, of course. “What are we doing today? Kenny’s not home until late, because he doesn’t know the meaning of retirement.”

“Show me around your neighborhood.”

“No.” Levi very quickly shuts down the idea.

“Fine pouty puss. What about that festival in town? Are you interested in that?”

He wasn’t, but he could tell they were. So if they wanted to, he’d go along with it.

Hanji, however, can read him like a book. “What about a drive?”

“Drive?”

“Yeah. Let’s just go driving.”

“Drive where?”

“We’ll figure that out,” they muse. “Or not, who knows?”

It seemed like a nice enough idea. Really, it’d be hard for a photographer to say no. Because a “drive” could send them anywhere and there were many opportunities for pictures to be taken. Though that’s the last thing on Levi’s mind once they’re actually on the road. The air is warm and carries the scent of the various trees in the area, the top of Hanji’s car is down so the breeze dances between them and Levi loves how wild it makes Hanji’s hair. Their smile, their eyes, it’s all so bright and beautiful, despite how little sleep either of them got. The way the loudly sing along to their music brings him happiness, and he wishes it’d last forever. 

The end up some two hours out of Sina, in some sleepy little city with maybe one hundred people living in it. It’s a relaxing dream of a place, and Levi finally stops to take his pictures. Some of the surroundings, some of Hanji. Most of those he catches when they aren’t looking. Those were always the best. 

“Hey, stop walking a second.”

“Hm?” Hanji turns around realizes Levi’s lagging a ways behind.  _ Oh...shit. _ “Ah, Levi! I’m sorry!” Instantly they feel terrible as they run back to him, instantly placing hands on his shoulders and inspecting him to assure he’s ok. Seemed he was rather out of breath, which puts a sickening guilt in their gut. “Levi? You ok?”

“Tch, I’m fine,” he lies. “You’ve got those stupid...long legs. I can’t keep up.” Excuses. The last thing he wanted was for them to worry.

“Levi...don’t lie to me. Don’t. If you’re not feeling well, tell me now. Please. We can go home, ok? I know you don’t want me to worry but get over it. I’m going to worry, I’ll  _ always _ worry. So tell me the truth, Levi…” Their voice shakes despite how firm they’re trying to be. But they just wanted honesty.

He’s quiet, his throat feeling dry, as if his mouth is full of sand. “I’m sorry.” He hates that crack in their voice, those tears threatening to spill in their eyes. “Alright...fine. It might be best for me to sit down a bit. We don’t have to go home-- I don’t want to go home.” This was all too perfect, he just wanted to keep it that way.

“Thank you,” Hanji says with a smile, kissing his forehead. “We can do that. See? Was that so hard to ask? Come on, let’s get something to eat, huh?” Turning around, they kneel down before him. “I’ll carry you, it’ll be fun.”

Humming softly, Levi gives in, climbing on their back and holding on as they stand. “Let me apologize for this next thing.”

“What next thing?”

“Coughing in your ear.” And he did, for about a minute straight. But Hanji didn’t mind it too much, as long as he didn’t keel over or something, they didn’t mind anything he did. They just happily carried him back to their car before setting him down. He didn’t move right away, not to turn on music or put his seatbelt on. “...Do that thing again.”

“Eh?” As Hanji sits down and starts to car, they look to Levi queerly. “What thing?”

He tries to imitate their sing song voice. “Pain pain, go away…”

Hanji can’t help but giggle slightly. Yet at the same time they feel sad. He looks so much more vulnerable than he usually is. They can’t decide if this is good or bad, but they decide to shake it off for the moment. Leaning over, they wrap arms around his shoulders and kiss his cheek. “Pain, pain, go away,” they hum, giving him multiple chaste kisses all over his face. 

It makes him feel better, and he’s glad that Hanji is around. It just made everything better. 

They end up in a diner, a small, quiet little place with no people in there but Levi and Hanji. Very ideal for Levi, he’s not overly fond of people. But Hanji’s definitely an exception. “This time, I’m ordering something for myself. You left me nothing.”

“I told you, eat faster.”

By the time they get back to Levi’s place, it’s nearly ten. Kenny’s home, and already asleep. Levi makes sure to check if he picked up his prescription, which, surprisingly, he did. “Well that’s a first.” From there, he takes his own medicines before retiring to his room, Hanji at his heels. 

“Hey Levi, you ok?”

“If you ask me that one more time, I might scream.” Levi knew Hanji meant well but he had to wonder what the point of asking over and over was. 

“Jeez, alright...alright. Sorry.”  _ Maybe I am being a bit much _ . “Come ‘ere…” They don’t give him a chance before they’ve got him wrapped up in a hug. “I just can’t help but worry. You silly little grump.”

“I get it…” He goes quiet. “I don’t want to go back to school. I didn’t want to go home either. I don’t want to do  _ anything.  _ Do you know what that’s like?”

It’s Hanji’s turn to hum in response. “I do. Quite often, really. I wish we could just drive and drive and not do anything.”

“Tell me more…” 

“More? Er alright. Let’s see, I want to drive somewhere new, and then somewhere new after that. Just over and over. Until we see everything. And you, I would get my doctorate and I’d find a cure and fix you and you’d never get sick again. And then you could take pictures all around the world…” Glancing over at him, Hanji strokes Levi’s cheek with their thumb. “What do you think?”

He loved their stories. Their dreams. It was all beautiful-- even if it was some far away impossible thing. “Sounds perfect.” It did, despite how stupidly hopeless it seemed. Dreaming was nice though. 

“Hm...yeah. How about we ditch Monday, huh? Just one more day?”

“I’ve already missed so much though. I’m behind.” As it was he was lucky with his Bs. He didn’t want Cs.

“Yeah...fine. Maybe another time then we’ll ditch together.” Hanji lays back and pulls Levi down with them. “Your stomach’s talkin’ to me again.”

It makes him blush and he lightly shoves Hanji away. “Don’t listen to it.”

“It’s cute.” They really wished he wasn’t so sensitive about it. “Singing me songs. What about you, can you sing me songs with your mouth?”

He’s quiet for a bit before getting up. “Stay put.” He leaves Hanji in his room and silently sneaks into Kenny’s, finding that old dusty guitar in the corner. The man used to play, and Levi had learned by watching.

[Open up my window]

The text confuses Hanji but they do it anyways. Looking out, they can see Levi in the yard, guitar in hand. Today felt like a movie, and he wanted it to stay that way. No boombox, so this was the best he could do. 

“Oh, look at you, a regular John Cusack,” Hanji giggles.

Levi ignores it, trying not to get too scared. This is embarrassing-- this is the boldest thing he’s ever done. It’s played out in his head before, but not quite like this.  _ Now or never. _ It takes him a minute to remember the exact song from the movie, but once he does, he starts to sing quietly, his voice shaking slightly. It wasn’t the best singing in the world, but if you asked Hanji, they’d say otherwise. They were completely enamored and didn’t even feel like laughing. “In Your Eyes”, he’d even got the song right. 

He doesn’t sing for long before he’s  _ grossly _ interrupted. The neighbors turn their sprinklers on, and he stops, his face full of defeat. But as he looks up at Hanji, the expression changes. They looked so happy, so thrilled; they were beaming. “Hey, get in here, you’re all wet!”

Helping him climb through his own window, Hanji is grinning ear to ear as they wrap him up in his blankets, trying to keep him warm. “My god Levi, you’re adorable, you’re so adorable--” The cover him with kisses and tug his mask off, lips meeting his. Something they’d  _ never _ done before. They were always afraid of getting him sick.

But they couldn’t help it, and soon had Levi down on the bed, kissing him deeply and lovingly. He didn’t fight it. Was he prepared for such a thing? Not at all. But he sure enjoyed the hell out of it. He’d never,  _ ever _ , let himself get this close to anyone. Even Hanji. But his guard was down, and for once, he was forgetting about his illness. This felt so wonderful and pure. He wished it could last forever. 

“Nn, Han--” He pulls away first, completely out of breath, and he sits up as he starts coughing.

“Oh fuck, Levi I’m sorry I didn’t even think…” They put their hands over their mouth and sat up. “You ok? You need help?”

Eyes watering slightly, he shakes his head. Grabbing onto Hanji’s shoulders, he uses them to steady himself before his forehead is pressed to their chest. “I’m fine. Swear it so don’t ask if I’m sure.” 

Hanji hesitates to speak. A hand moves to his back, and starts to rub small circles. “Alright, I believe you. I’m sorry Levi, I didn’t think…” And now they were hoping to whoever was listening that they weren’t getting sick or anything like that. 

Looking up, he shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. I ruined the moment, so what? I’m alive...I’m fine. I feel great.”

Their eyes narrow, and yet, he doesn’t look like he’s lying.

“I wish we could do that more...it’s nice.” He wants badly for them to kiss him again. But the mood was just sort of dead now, not to mention he was cold from the sprinkler. He presses a light kiss to their neck before pulling his blanket off. “Guess we can’t go to bed yet...I need to put this in the dryer. Guess we’ll have to sit here a bit longer…”

“I’ll put it in the dryer, you change, your clothes are soaked.” And before he can argue, Hanji takes the blanket. “Wear something cute, huh?”

As they leave, Levi rolls his eyes and closes the door. “Tch...something cute.” He figured he had nothing “cute”. Just practical, like everything else he wore. As he changes, he finds himself surprisingly tired. When Hanji returns, he’s already curled up in the sheets, waiting for them to return. 

“Aww, Levi. Sleepy?” Hanji can’t help but smile as they watch him stare him from his pillow. “Your blanket should be ready in fifteen minutes.”

“That’s fine. C’mere, it’s cold,” he demands. “I’m not sleepy, just cold.”

“Liar,” Hanji teases, laying down beside him. “Thanks for singing to me...even if it wasn’t much. It was so sweet…”

A signature Levi hum of an answer. He’s lying, he feels very tired. Any second he’s sure he might doze off, considering Hanji was so warm. “So return the favor….sing me to sleep.”

“A-ha, you are tired. I know you so well.” They were glad he was getting to sleep though. It was likely for the best. “Fine fine, I’ll sing.” But now they weren’t sure what to sing. “Er…”

“Bastard…” Playfully, he hits them. “Your turn. Sing something.”

“Ok ok….” A long pause. “I’m gonna check on your blanket.” Maybe something would come to them. But when they came back with a warm blanket in tow, Levi was already out cold.


	3. Cripple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes well out of his way to prove a point.

“What the fuck?” Eyes narrowing, he reaches out and pulls the flyer off the wall. “What the  _ fuck _ ?”

“What’s up, Levi?” The two had just gotten back to school, and currently were on their way to lunch. But Levi stops suddenly, seeming upset by whatever flyer he found. Hanji can only watch and hope he cleared up their confusion.

“What is this…’Photography Club Chug Run for Charity’? Why haven’t I heard of it?” 

“Chug Run? Well that doesn’t seem your thing-- but I thought you knew? Me and Eren and Armin and I think Erwin signed up...and Petra and Eld, maybe Gunther…” Their voice trails off. “You mad you weren’t invited?”

“I’m mad that this is my fucking photograph on the flyer, and not only is my name not on here-- I’m not even involved.” Which, to him, felt like robbery. “See? This is even a picture I took of you.”

Hanji leans in close and realizes that is in fact them. “Oh...well that’s shitty. You should bring it up sometime.”

“I’m bringing it up  _ now _ .”

“But Levi, it’s too late to change anything-- it’s today after all.” Though as Hanji watches him storm off, they know their words aren’t going to change much. He had his rights to be pissed, and he wasn’t going to just keep quiet.

The director of the event seemed to act rather innocent, which even ended up irking Hanji, who was trying to get Levi to let this all go.

“Didn’t know? That’s my fucking picture, that’s my fucking significant other right there!”

Hitch, the event director, pales slightly before nodding. “Fine fine, we apologize for that. But you weren’t involved because you can’t participate anyways.”

Grey eyes turn to ice as he glares at the girl before him. “Excuse me?”

The freshman does her best to keep her composure. “Yeah, you can’t, ya know because you’re...well….crippled? Disabled?”

If he was mad before, he’s livid now. Not many things really got to Levi, but he’d just barely begun to take pride in his work and refused to have it stolen, and he had  _ never _ liked being told what he could and couldn’t do. It rather took a toll on his esteem when he was seen this way.

“Let it go, Levi. It’s not worth your time,” Hanji warns, knowing that look in his eye.

“Sign me up,” he says boldly. “I’ll participate just fine.”

“You sure?,” Hitch questions.

Levi’s about to answer when Hanji yanks him away by his backpack, and their eyes are full of irritation. “Levi what the hell are you doing!?”

“Proving a point.”

“No, proving a point is wearing white when someone says you can’t pull it off. This is fucking stupid. Do you know what a chug run is? Are you asking to go back to the hospital?”

His gaze changes as he grows silent. Hanji didn’t think he could do it either. Did they really see him as so weak? He feels a knot in his throat at the thought. It rather hurt. Never, in his life, did he want to be seen as weaker than anybody else. And he’d figured Hanji of all people understood that. But what they say just kills him. His expression turns bitter as he turns away, returning to Hitch. “Put my name on your list.”

Hesitantly, Hitch does so, and grimaces slightly as Levi coldly just brushes past Hanji.

Hanji doesn’t want to be finished though. “Hey!,” they cry. “Really? So you’re going to be mad at me for showing some fucking concern for you!? You can’t be so reckless, Levi!”

Hands balling into fists, he turns around sharply and nearly has to stand on his toes to get in Hanji’s face, seems he’s not the type to yell much. “I don’t need  _ you _ telling me what the fuck I can and can’t do. I get enough of that-- I don’t need it from you.” Before they have a chance to react, he takes his leave, feeling almost sick by this all.

After all….he’d  _ never _ fought with Hanji before. But he was hurt, and much like an injured animal, he lashed out when he was hurt. Unfortunately, Hanji was at the receiving end this time.

Hanji watches Levi go with slight disgust. They couldn’t believe he was risking his health over something as silly as proving a point. While they could try to understand what he was feeling, they still didn’t agree with it. The very thought hurts their stomach. But they know  _ no one _ can tell Levi what to do, and if he was going to be stubborn, then they’d have to let it happen, upset as it made them.

“Levi, I was hoping I’d run into you.” What confuses Eren is the fact he’s alone. He couldn’t remember seeing Levi without Hanji. Vice versa, sure, but that was only because Levi was gone so much. “Uhm...waiting on Hanji?”

“No,” he replies curtly, polishing the lens of his camera. “You can sit, what do you want?” He reaches across the table and pulls his bag aside so Eren has room for his.

Sensing tension, the brunet very nervously sits, not bothering to remove his bag. He wasn’t waiting for Hanji, and Eren knew for a fact Hanji was in class today, he’d seen them. Something must’ve happened. But he didn’t want to pry; bigger things were on his mind. “I was wondering how much I’d have to pay you for some pictures.”

Glancing up, he arches a brow. “Nothing. I don’t want your money.”

“I’m going to pay you, Levi.” He’d heard about how the other had sold his car and Eren figured maybe cash was tight for him. He could also recall Hanji buying food for him on more than one occasion. “So I just want to know what a fair price is.”

“Zero.”

Eren knew Levi was stubborn, but he was going to be just as stubborn-- if not more. “Three hundred it is,” he decided.

“Eren that’s a ridiculou--”

“Nope. That’s what I’m paying you. This would mean more to me than that. Now...do you know what gardenias are?”

“I do.”

“Good. I know they don’t really grow around here but I was hoping you could find them at a nursery or something and take pictures. Lots of pictures, on really big paper. Like, enough to cover part of a wall.” He could picture it in his head and was steadily growing more excited at the idea. “And some other flowers too, like roses or something-- but make sure to remember gardenias. They’re her favorite.”

Levi had to wonder who ‘her’ was. “This for a girlfriend or something? You might be better off giving her  _ real _ gardenias.”

Eren feels a slight knot in his throat and shakes his head. “Not Mikasa, no, not a girlfriend. Ah…” Rubbing the back of his neck, he does his best to keep himself calm, but already he can feel tears in the back of his throat. “My mother, gardenias are her favorite. And I bring them but ah, they always die. The pictures, they wouldn’t die, right?” A long exhale. “She’s uhm, she’s very sick. She gets to stare at the plain white of a hospital wall every day. I thought maybe some pictures, some flowers that didn’t die, I thought that might...make her happy.”

Levi can catch the gleam over Eren’s eyes, and the small tears that roll down his cheeks. “Say no more,” he assures, reaching into his bag and sliding a pack of tissues to Eren. “I’d be happy to. And you don’t have to pay me, really.”

“Heh...too late,” Eren says with a smile, rubbing his eye. “Thank you Levi, really. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it means a ton to me. I...I gotta go to class now.”

Levi watches Eren take a tissue before the brunet stands up and leaves, looking like he might go cry for the next two hours. Levi won’t bother him or stop him, though he’s somewhat surprised to find Eren managed to slip his payment into his tissues without him noticing. “...Not bad,” he murmurs, though he makes it a point to remember to return the cash later. This was personal, this was special-- this was something Levi wouldn’t put a price on. For a bit, he forgets about Hanji, returning to his dorm and digging out the best camera he has. Something he was considering selling, but now he felt that could wait. There were much more important things at stake. 

Hanji, meanwhile, is with Petra, a close friend of theirs. The two are out at lunch, something Hanji had originally intended to do with Levi. Now, Petra was serving as a metaphorical shoulder to cry on. Hanji wasn’t crying after all-- they were still pissed. 

“Can you believe him? All of this to prove a god damn point. I love him but he’s so stubborn it makes me want to rip my hair out.”

Petra’s face is soft as she listens, sipping quietly at her milk tea. Honey colored eyes are full of concern; the last thing she wanted was for this to get too out of hand. “That’s part of his charm,” she says softly, trying to take a positive approach. “And it’s not likely to change. I understand where you’re coming from-- I’m worried about him too, but try and look at it from his perspective.”

Hanji doesn’t want to. They’re afraid if they do they might have to admit that they could be in the wrong. “He’s behaving irrationally.”

“Yes, he is. But put yourself in his shoes. He’s probably been told his whole life that he can’t do things, that he’s not able to do things. And Levi’s rather…” She searches for a nice word. “Headstrong. And independent? Let’s be real, he has a problem with authority. He doesn’t like being told what to do. Maybe it seems ridiculous to you, but to him this is just another person telling him what he can and can’t do. Of course he wants to prove them wrong.” 

_ Damn it, Petra… _ Hanji is quiet, their bottom lip protruded in a pout. Petra is right, and furthermore, she’s so damn nice about it. “...I just want to protect him.”

Reaching out, Petra puts her hands around Hanji’s and offers an apologetic smile. “We all do, really. But he’s his own person too. He’ll learn.”

“I hope.” It’s all Hanji can say.

“You’re not wrong to worry. All you can do is let him fall and be there to pick him up when he does. He’ll learn.” Petra was rather sure of it. She’d seen it before, and was certain whatever fight these two had had wasn’t going to last forever.

Four, and the participants for the “Chug Run” are all lined up. Hanji can spot Levi ahead of them in line with Eren, and they resist the urge to pull him out of line and smack him senseless. But they recall what Petra told them.  _ He’ll learn _ .

Levi, on the other hand, is wondering if this is a good idea or not. But the word appears in his head again.  _ Cripple _ . He’d show them.  _ I’m just as good as any of you. I’m just as capable _ . Turning, he catches Hanji out of the corner of his eye and shows no emotion. Not anger, not sadness-- complete ambivalence. It makes Hanji’s stomach hurt. That was a look they didn’’t like in the slightest.

His name is called, and Hanji instantly feels sick. After watching Eren nearly kill himself on that obstacle course only to throw up at the finish line, they instantly fear the worst for Levi. But he looks confident. Glancing around, his face is completely unreadable as he tugs his mask away and downs a pitcher of beer, as are the rules.

Now it’s his turn to feel sick. How did anyone do this?  _ You’ve fucked up _ , he thinks to himself. But there’s that girl, that Hitch brat, and instantly he feels determined to finish this thing.

Miraculously, he does-- at record time. Hanji nearly faints. They can’t believe it. What they do believe is how quickly he gets to the bathroom. An urging in their stomach tells them to go after him, but they remind themself that he had to learn. Some relief comes when they watch Eren go after him, even if the kid is already somewhat drunk. Better than no one.

They finally stop caring when they watch him return, Eren at his heels. He looks ok, Eren...could’ve been better. But it brings Hanji relief and slight irritation. Levi had certainly proved his point, and this could very likely end in an “I told you do” on his part. Hanji wasn’t ready to swallow their pride yet, even after they fail to make it even half way through this chug run. 

Levi feels bad when he watches Hanji, and the way they keep falling, the way their hands go up in the air when they decide no, they can’t do this. Sure, they’re laughing, but Levi doesn’t believe it. Hands in the pocket of his hoodie, he retracts a bit from the crowd, figuring he’d rather be alone than keep watching the others. Aside from that, he felt  _ terrible _ , health wise, and wanted to sleep for the next ten years. Ordinarily, he’d go home with Hanji when he felt like this, but clearly, this wasn’t the best time.

It’s nearing ten at night. Unlike Levi, Hanji doesn’t live on campus. They have a little apartment that they have invited Levi to stay in many times, but he always refuses. In his mind, it’d be freeloading because he can’t seem to keep a job. Part CF, part bad attitude when someone treated him the right way. He wasn’t the type to kiss ass. Ten at night and typically Hanji was with Levi. But now, they were laying in bed alone, books open around them though they couldn’t focus enough to study. They still feel sick, though it’s more from the alcohol than anything else. At least they want to believe this. “He’ll learn, he’s learning, he’s mad at me, he’s not worth my worry if he’s gonna act this way.” Things they need to tell themself because they can’t get Levi out of their head.

“Mm...Levi? Why you calling this late? Everything ok?” Eren had been asleep but his phone wakes him, and he’s certain this is the first time Levi’s ever called him.

“Sorry if you were sleeping but I need something. Consider it payment for the photographs given I’m not taking your money.” Despite the time, Levi sounds alert as ever. “Can you drive?”

“Mm...probably shouldn’t,” Eren yawns, sitting up. Seeing as Armin is still asleep, he steps outside, rather curious as to what Levi would want from him.

“Then I need to borrow your car. Do you have a portable speaker?”

_ This is getting weirder and weirder… _ Eren thinks to himself. “I do, you want it?”

“Just for tonight. I’ll return everything tomorrow.” 

“Er...ok. Uhm, gimme a few minutes and I’ll meet you in the parking lot I guess.” Eren is now very curious as to what’s going on. 

Levi is already at Eren’s car, so it isn’t long he has to wait. When the other shows up looking half asleep but fully dressed, he’s a bit confused. “You can go back to sleep. I just wanted to borrow your things.”

“No way, this is weird and I wanna know what you’re gonna do.” He wears a wide grin. “You’ve never called me after all.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Levi huffs, handing Eren his money back. “You can come, just saying you didn’t have to.”

“What are you doing?” Reluctantly, Eren exchanges money for his keys and decides this will just have to suffice as payment.

“...Swallowing my pride.”

Hanji doesn’t live far from the university. Fifteen minutes on a bad night. Levi’s been to their complex thousands of times, and knows exactly which window is theirs. Luckily for him, the window’s open. “Ok Eren, you stay here, and you can go back if you want and leave me here. I can catch the bus if I need to.”

“Hell no. Where’s here, exactly? Where are we?”

“Hanji’s…”

Eren’s eyes light up a bit. “Oh, wait-- so are you apologizing to Hanji? Petra says you got in a fight.”

Levi reminds himself not to get upset. This was about swallowing his pride, after all. “Something like that. Just stay in the damn car.”

With a cheeky grin, Eren does as he’s told, though he keeps his window rolled down because he has to watch. Levi plugs the kid’s speaker into his phone, finds the song he wants, and waits, standing in the grass  beneath the complex windows.

A few lights turn on, as the music is loud, but Hanji was awake anyways. Somewhat. They had been starting to doze when they hear a familiar song. “Eh? I thought I turned my computer off…” The sound of someone shouting “turn that shit off” brings them to their window, and they can’t help but what they see. Levi, down there and staring up, and looking embarrassed. No doubt, Hanji’s neighbors weren’t exactly being nice to him. But they can’t help their smile. Leaning out the window sill, they laugh a bit. The same song as before, and things feel like a movie. “Hey there,” they call down. They’re four stories up after all. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Levi sighs and looks away. “ Love, I get so lost, sometimes…” He stares back up. “Can I talk to you?”

Hanji can’t be mad. This is adorable, and they know it probably took a lot of courage for him to go through with this. Another person shouts at him to turn the music off, and they feel bad. “I’ll be right there.”

To avoid getting the cops called on him, he finally turns “that shit off” and waits for Hanji, who wastes no time in embracing him, tears stinging their eyes. “Levi, I’m sorry, really.”

“Don’t be,” he breathes, their scent bringing him warmth. “You were right.”

Eren, meanwhile, feels rather awkward. He can’t go home, he doesn’t feel safe doing so, so he just has to watch it seemed.

Looking over Levi’s shoulder, Hanji smiles at Eren. “I have a couch you can sleep on,” they assure. “Come on, it’s cold. We’re going in. Everything’s ok.”

Levi’s never heard such sweeter words.


	4. Do You Know What That's Like?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fights are resolved as feelings are shared. (Is it clear summaries aren't my thing?)

“Is he asleep?”

“Yes he’s asleep Levi. Out cold on my sofa. Now come on,” the grab him by the sleeve and pull him down onto their bed. “You said you wanted to talk and you haven’t said a word in over forty-five minutes. Are we not talking?”

Still, Levi says nothing.

“Did you not want Eren to hear or something?”

Nodding, he gets to his feet and closes Hanji’s door, so there’s little chance Eren can hear anything. He then sits again, his expression looking vulnerable as ever. 

“....Well?” Hanji is patient but this is striking them as strange. “Come on Levi, don’t sit so stiffly. Get cozy.” Smiling, the crawl on their bed, back to the wall, and beckon Levi to come sit in their lap.

He starts to move closer, but in a swift movement, he’s down, face in their pillow. There’s not a sound to be heard, and his only movements are a slight twitching of his shoulders.

_ Is he...crying? _ Hanji wasn’t sure what to say. They’d never seen Levi cry, or anything close. And they wondered if maybe they were mistaken. But as he lifts his face, they can see their assumptions are correct. It’s not an easy sight.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sounding like he never had before. “You were right, ok? I feel like death. I should’ve listened.”

“Hey now…” Hanji keeps their voice soft. “If anyone should be sorry here, it’s me. Who am I to tell you what you can or can’t do? I was just being selfish.”

“But you were right…” He has this urge to hide as tears start to slip once more. “I  _ am _ a cripple. I  _ am _ disabled, there’s a lot of things I shouldn’t do. I just don’t want to accept it.”

Hanji knows it’s painful to admit, and this whole fight starts to feel incredibly ridiculous. Reaching forward, they take Levi in their arms, running fingers through his hair as they feel his tears in their shirt. Strange how silent he was, and yet, it was what Hanji expected. They just never thought they’d see Levi cry. “It’s ok, Levi, and you’re not a cripple. You can do whatever you want.”

“I can’t--” Levi gasps. “No I can’t. I’m limited, Han, I’m limited in anything I can do, because I’m...fucking weak. Sick, weakly thing…” He has trouble finding the words. 

“That’s not true, Levi-- you’re far from weak.” It all breaks their heart.

“It  _ is _ true-- I want to feel normal, do you know what that’s like?” But they don’t, and he knows they won’t lie about it. “I don’t want to have to take a fucking cocktail of medication every morning, I don’t  _ want _ to have to analyze everything I want to do to see if I’m physically able, I don’t  _ want _ to have to constantly wonder if something’s going to make me sick-- I don’t  _ want _ to be me! Do you know what that’s like?”

They want to lie and say they know how it feels, to try and make him feel better, but they just can’t. “I don’t Levi...I’m sorry...I’m so sorry…”

He didn’t expect them to know. Sucking a breath in, he wipes his cheeks before he starts to cough, somewhat violently. Crying was just making him feel worse. He doesn’t react as Hanji pounds on his back, just grips at their shirt desperately before he’s ripping his mask off. He’d ruined it, and he’s utterly disgusted with the fact it’s got mucus in it. Hanji quickly leans over and manages to reach their wastebin for him before they have him wrapped tight in their arms, wishing he wouldn’t feel this way about himself. A thumb wipes his chin before they tilt his face up so they’re making eye contact.

“Levi, I can’t pretend to know what it’s like, but all those things you think about yourself, please know I don’t think any of that. I’ve never seen you as weaker than me, or less capable. Or disgusting. Do I worry? Yes. But I’d worry regardless...and I’m sorry it got out of hand today, ok? Please Levi, know you’re worth something, at least to me…” The press a kiss to his forehead, never wanting to see him cry like this again. It’s a painful sight.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he looks away, going to his safe spot that is his cheek against their chest. So warm, so comforting. Sniffling slightly, he coughs a bit again before closing his eyes. As quickly as he’d started crying, he stopped, feeling less vulnerable and insecure in their hold. “If I ever get mad at you again just smack me. I can’t stand being away.”

Hanji feels their heart swell a moment. Sure, they’d been with Levi a long time, but hearing him actually say it...they feel amazing. “I don’t like being mad at you either. Look at us, we’re stuck together. We can’t even have a fight for a whole day without ending up as an emotional glob on my bed.” 

He hums in response, as is typical of him. “Real apology now: I’m sorry I let my insecurities make me mad at you.”

“Fine, real apology: I’m sorry I made you feel inadequate.”

“‘S ok,” he says softly. “I forgive you. I don’t like being away from you.”

“Aw Levi, you’re really pulling at my chordae tendineae. I forgive you too.” Seemed appropriate.

“Oi, no nerdy talk, you geek…”

“If I’m a geek, you’re….a bean.”

“Excuse me?” He arches a brow as he looks up at them.

“A cute little bean, so small,” the tease, laughing at how he pouts. They can’t help but poke his nose. “Adorable.”

“Sure sure, whatever…” He by no means saw himself as adorable, especially when he had this reputation as being intimidating and hard to approach. Hell, Eren was terrified to approach him for about a year. “You’re weird.”

“You too.” They smile and coddle him close, rubbing his cheek with their thumb. “We should get to sleep, huh?”

This makes Levi groan. “You can.”

“You too, you need it. We both do.” They’re sure to add the last part so it doesn’t come off as telling him what to do.

But he doesn’t really notice, and just pushes away, laying down on their bed for comfort. “I don’t think I can.”

They hope it’s not one of those nights. They know there are times when Levi doesn’t sleep at all, and they hate it. It just makes them worry more, but at the moment they’re trying to keep that to themself. Laying down beside him, they lace their fingers in his and offers a kind smile. “Well you could try. And if you can’t, wake me up and we’ll stay up together.”

“No,” he mumbles. “If you wanna sleep, then sleep. And I’ll just watch you…” That was something he didn’t mind. Hanji was an adorable sleeper in his opinion. 

“No way. We do this together.” They kiss his forehead. “Why don’t you think you can sleep?”

“You told me so.” The answer is almost instant. “Ok? I feel like shit. I shouldn’t have tried to prove a fucking point.”

Hanji resists the urge to tell him they were right. The timing seemed rather inappropriate. “My poor Levi,” the say softly. “How about this? How about I sing you that song I owe? ….Levi?”

They notice his gaze is no longer on them. No, he’s very much distracted. Sitting up, he crawls over them and opens the window. 

“Levi, what the hell? It’s cold.” They try to tug him away. “What are you doing?”

“Gardenias,” he murmurs, reaching for his camera. But it’s dark, and he wonders if there’s even a point. “These are those, right?”

“Yes, they are. My flowerbox is looking nice, no? You like gardenias? You know you’re not going to get a good picture this late at night.”

“.....Right,” he sighs, forgetting it. Flopping back on the bed, he rubs at his stomach and again tells Hanji not to listen to it. And again, they tell him it doesn’t matter. It seems to be a ritual. He watches the way their eyes get heavier and heavier until the tell tale sound of snoring. Asleep. Silently, me manages to reach over to the lamp and shut it off before curling up to them. He sets his camera on the floor by the bed along with his cellphone before curling up beside Hanji, a fond look on his face as he watches them sleep for hours, given he never does fall asleep. 

Class is at noon for Hanji, but they’re at the school by nine because Levi had forgotten his medications at his dorm. They want desperately to find a way for him to sleep but know if it isn’t happening, it isn’t happening. He’s hell bent on getting what he needs to do done so he can start his photography, and sleep just feels like an afterthought. 

“Got everything ya need?” A kind smile is on their face as Hanji watches Levi close the door of his dorm behind himself.

“Yeah,” he says dryly. “I did. Sorry to drag you here so early. I’m sure you had grand plans to sleep in.”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” Hanji teased. “But my shorty is more important.”

“Ha ha.” Clearly the nickname doesn’t amuse him.

“I’m hilarious, aren’t I? Hey, ya wanna get breakfast, Levi? I left Eren a note that he can go home and left him my key so we don’t have to worry about him.”

“The kid’s gonna freak out about waking up by himself in someone else’s apartment anyways, but fine, I guess that’s his problem. You can get breakfast, I’m not hungry.”

“Then watch me eat? Boring Levi, you’re so boring. Fine, we won’t get breakfast because I don’t want to eat if you don’t. Plus we always do what I want. You never gimme me input.” They hand him their keys. “You pick where we go this time.”

It’d been years since Levi had driven Hanji’s car, and Hanji had forgotten what a surprisingly stressful driver he was to be with. He sped, didn’t always stop at signs if he felt it was unnecessary, and he was very short with other drivers. Somehow, though, he had a perfect driving record, had never hurt anyone or anything. Hanji was just waiting for the day that would change. 

“Levi, that was a stop sign.”

“No one was at the intersection. It’s fine.”

“Where are we even going?”

“Gardenias.”

“Oh, that. Good luck finding any. You past my place about ten miles back. So, where are we going again? Because I have to be back on campus by noon.”

“I remembered someplace I’d seen gardenias. Don’t fret, we’ll be back in time.”

“Yeah, with the way you drive, I guess we will.”

Purposefully so, Levi speeds up, glancing to see that look on Hanji’s face. Again, Hanji questions where they’re going. They ask if he’s going home, seems Sina was this way. But Sina came and went, and he only slowed in the next town over.

And then Hanji understood. The gardenias, their childhood home was full of them. The most beautiful they’d seen. But Hanji didn’t want to go back, not yet. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to see their family, they were just worried about not wanting to leave, about having too much catching up to do. Hanji hadn’t been home in years.

Levi stops about a mile away. “We don’t have to go,” he says. “If you don’t want to. I know there’s a nursery. They’ll probably have my flowers.”

Hanji mulls it over before nodding. “I’d rather do that, Levi. It would be such a brief visit, and it’s been years. My parents deserve better.”

Suddenly Levi feels bad. Had he made Hanji sad? Reaching over, he tugs his mask down and kisses their cheek. “I’m sorry dragging us all the way out here. I should’ve asked.”

This was maybe one of five times Levi had been the one to kiss Hanji. Typically, it was the other way around. Rubbing their cheek, they nod. “Don’t be sorry, don’t make this sad,” Hanji teased. “Let’s go to this nursery, huh?”

Levi doesn’t want to drop it, but he does, for the time being. He’d just really wanted to go back to that house. It was basically his second home, throughout middle school and high school. The Zoe family had always welcomed him with open arms when he wanted to be anywhere but home, fed him when he was starving, let him sleep there when he needed to most. There was such a sense of comfort in that house, an essence he found in Hanji, and he just wanted to experience that feeling again. But he knew it was selfish. 

The nursery does prove to have his precious gardenias. He finds it strange to ask the owners for mere pictures, and in the end Hanji does most of the talking. Like always. He’d be lost without them. But they don’t mind, they know he isn’t a talker. Besides, they love how he gets when he does his photography. There seemed to be a light in his eye, true passion as he captures images of moments that will never be exactly the same way again. There’s such fervor and energy that it’s like he isn’t sick at all. Hanji feels utterly at peace watching him do something he loved, watching him completely immerse himself in something as simple as flowers.

“Got everything you need?”

“Yes,” Levi nods, focused on scrolling through the images he’s captured.

“You want to drive us back then? I don’t want to be late, ya know.”

He raises a brow. “Speeding really isn’t that hard to do.”

“You’re crazy,” Hanji laughs. “I would get us killed if I tried to drive as fast as you do.”

So Levi decided to give in, taking their keys before they stopped him. 

“I had a thought. What if we do go to my home? And I just ditch lecture? I only have one class, it’s just a review session and...we never do anything you want to. Would you want that?”

He pauses as he listens to them, and there’s almost a smile on his face. “I’d like that, yeah.” Because to him, it felt like going home.


	5. "Play Doctor"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly fluff, don't worry though, next chapter will have more plot.

"I thought they’d _never_ shut up.”

“Well, you had to get it from somewhere, Han.” Levi sits up after hours of laying there waiting for Hanji’s family to let him have them. He could understand catching up, but he didn’t get why Hanji told him to wait in their room. Not that he minded too much, he wanted to lay down but he’d much rather do it with Hanji.

“Oh, ha ha. I don’t talk that much. Just enough for us both. You’re too quiet.”

“I say enough.”

Hanji smirks, sitting beside Levi and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Yes, you do,” they begin, before pausing. A hand goes to Levi’s forehead as worry comes over their features. “You’re running a fever.” It’s all very matter of fact.

But Levi just pushes their hand away. “I’m fine.”

“You’re gonna have ‘I’m fine’ on your tombstone I swear Levi…” Hanji shakes their head. “If you don’t feel good then say so, Levi. I wish you wouldn’t lie about these things.”

He doesn’t say anything, naturally. “So what do you wanna do for the weekend since you’re home? I think I’ll stay...don’t wanna go back to school.”

“Nice diversion,” Hanji sighs. “Have it your way. I dunno what I wanna do.” Hanji lays down, dragging Levi with them. “My place is so boring, why did you want to come so bad?”

“‘S better than my place,” he murmurs, finding their hand and lacing their fingers with his own. “Except your room is a mess.”

“Get over it, shorty. My room stays a mess until my parents decide to clean it out. I already said throw everything out, they never listen…”

Hanji rambles on and on and Levi wears a fond expression as he listens, feeling oddly sleepy and content. However, the feeling fades when his eyes find the clock. “I have class in thirty...I really shouldn’t miss it again…”

“You have a fever-- don’t go to class.”

“I’m fine,” he repeats, sitting up. “Oi...can I borrow your car?”

Hanji doesn’t want him to go, doesn’t think they should. But for a moment they recall their fight of sorts and they feel a knot in their gut. _He’ll learn…_ Hanji sighs as they give in, handing him their keys. “Please Levi...be safe.”

“I always am, aren’t I?”

Hanji doesn’t believe it, not in the slightest, but they don’t say anything. They just smile as they watch him leave before flopping back on their bed. “Oh, Levi...you’re gonna give me gray hairs.”

He only further supports this belief when he arrives back, looking like hell with an overnight bag hung over his shoulder. A rather common sight for Hanji, really, but what concerned them was the fact he’d felt fevered earlier. His eyes look almost hazed over, he seems paler than usual, he was rather slouched in his posture. Their concerns were confirmed when his greeting is flopping on the sofa. It’s followed by a long groan, which makes Hanji laugh a bit until they hear him finally admit it. “I’m not fine.”

This makes Hanji frown, and they sit beside him, placing a hand on the back of his head (he’s face down after all). “Not fine how, Levi?”

A groan. “‘M sick.”

“You are, I told you you shouldn’t have gone to class.”

“Shuddup. I didn’t want an I told you so.”

Clearly he wasn’t in the mood for teasing. “Alright, fine,” Hanji sighs. “What do you want then, Levi?”

“Sleep.”

“Then sleep.”

“Carry me to your bed.”

“Excuse me?,” Hanji asks, looking down at Levi. They were rather confused. Usually Levi hated when Hanji would pick him up. He said it made him feel smaller than he was.

“Please?” He sits up a bit, arms hanging on their shoulders. “When will you get an opportunity again?”

At least he was trying to joke, they figured. Smiling, Hanji sighs and gives in. “Alright, come here shorty.” They stand before sliding their arms under him, carrying him like he was their drunken prom date. “You’re so light, I could carry you anywhere.”

“Ha ha. Do what I said,” he whined.

They tease him about how demanding he is, like a tiny dictator, and carry him just about everywhere _but_ their bed. It was great to listen to him pout, it reassured Hanji that he wasn’t feeling _too_ horrible. After a good ten minutes they finally arrive at their room, and quite literally drop Levi on the bed.

“Bitch,” he groans, pulling off his face mask and throwing it at them, though it obviously doesn’t do much. “So immature.”

“Says the guy who wanted me to carry him to bed,” Hanji teases. Kneeling down, the smile as they push  hair from his face, noticing the distinct pinkness in his cheeks. They can’t help but find it adorable-- which they feel slight guilt about. “You feel pretty warm there. You want anything?”

Eyes halfway shut, he shakes his head, deciding he’d rather just sit here and hope this fever passed.

“...Alright, fine. But I’m getting a thermometer. I’m having trouble believing you’re as fine as you’re pretending.”

Levi rolls on his back, making a noise that _almost_ sounds like a laugh. Not quite. “We’re gonna play doctor, huh?”

Looking back at him, Hanji now finds a blush on their cheeks. Why did he look so cute right now? “Sure Levi, we’ll play doctor.” An eyeroll as they leave him.

They don’t like what they see when they come back. Levi’s on the floor, hunched over their wastebin and coughing so hard there are tears in his eyes. And yet, he declines all help, looking half dead as he finally ceases and drags himself back on Hanji’s bed. “See ‘m ok.”

Hanji hesitates some before shaking their head. “You little liar. Get over here so I see how fevered you are.”

“Play doctor.”

“Whatever…”

Playing doctor finished rather quickly when Levi zonked out on Hanji’s lap, _much_ to their dismay. They loved him, sure, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable, especially when he was sporting a 102 temperature. They could feel a pool of sweat under his cheek on their thigh and were sure it wasn’t all his. “Yeesh...what am I to do with you?” Hanji lets out a sigh as fingers begin stroking his hair, which was dampened with sweat. A hand brushes his cheek and they cringe some. He felt so damn _warm_. Every part of them wanted to take him to a doctor but it was nearing two in the morning and he’d certainly be pissed if they did such a thing. Decidedly, it was better to just try and sleep.

Sleep didn’t last long. Hanji wakes up in a sticky sweat, finding that Levi has essentially made himself their blanket. It didn’t help that the room itself was hot, and the brunet felt stuck as to what to do. On one hand, it was rather cute of Levi. But on the other, he was just too warm. “Pssssst…” Hands start to try and pry him off. “Hey Levi...get off of me.”

He doesn’t budge for nearly a minute. An eye opens, and he looks at Hanji sleepily. “I’m not on you.”

“Yes you are,” they argue, trying to hold back laughter. He was obviously not himself and they knew it shouldn’t be funny...but it was. “You’ve got me trapped.”

“I’m not on you.”

“Levi, come on.” They manage to pull an arm free and start to shove him away. “You’re cooking me.”

He doesn’t say anything, just rolls off, staring lazily at the ceiling as Hanji relishes in the fact they can pull their shirt off and open a window.

“Jeez Levi...I thought I was gonna be roasted alive.”

He says something inaudible as he sits up too, reaching for more blankets and wrapping himself up, making a mess of things as he pulls the sheets off as well.

Hanji watches with amusement until he finished. “Think you got enough covers there?”

Looking at them, he shrugs, about to lay down when he breaks into a coughing fit.

“It’s ok, it’s ok,” Hanji tells him, rubbing circles on his back. “Yeesh...you really are warm.” As he finishes, Hanji finds his forehead and cringes. “If you don’t get over this by the morning we’re seeing a doctor.”

“You’re seeing a doctor,” he breathes, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “You _are_ a doctor.”

“Not yet Levi,” Hanji sighs. “Come on, lay down.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. Shrugging off the covers, he starts to kick them to the end of the bed.

“What are you doing now?”

He flops down. “It’s too hot.”

 _You’re fucking kidding me._ “You’re too hot, that’s why.”

“I am.” He sounds unsure.

Hanji looks exasperated as they nod. “Yep yep. Go to sleep, Levi.”

“You go to sleep.”

“Ok, I will. I’ll try. Ok?”

He gets quiet as he nods, eyes closing as he mumbles something to himself. Inaudible nonsense. Then, out of nowhere, after Hanji had thought he’d fallen asleep, he randomly spits out, “Marry me.”

“...What?”

“Let’s get married.” Sitting up, he reaches over them, more flops on them (much to their dismay, he’s so warm) and reaches for his overnight bag, which Hanji has to hand to him anyways. Once he has it, he feverishly digs through until he finds it. A capsule like one would get out of a quarter machine. “Can’t afford you a nice ring so here.” He quite literally throws it at them.

Hanji is grinning like an idiot, even as the plastic thing smacks them right in the cheek. They eagerly pop the lid off and pull out a little blue ring adorned with fake gemstones and flowers. “Oh, Levi,” they hum. “You romantic little dork.”

“So?” He raises a brow and rests his chin on their shoulder. “Marry me?”

Hanji is sure this is just some feverish nonsense despite the little toy ring, but it’s utterly adorable and they can’t help but give in. Sliding the ring on their finger, a blush blooms in their cheeks as they kiss his nose. “Yes, Levi. I do.”

“Good,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls away. “I have been wanting to do that.”

“Oh really?,” they question. “Why so suddenly?”

“Don’t feel good,” he mumbles. “Plus I knows I’m not going to live long.”

Their smile fades, and a concerned expression comes over them. “Levi...don’t say things like that.” _Even if it may be tragically true…_

“Why? It’s just the facts huh? People like me with the sick lungs, we don’t live long. So I wanted to marry you now so I can enjoy it.” A pout comes over his face as he rolls his head to the side, looking like he was more awake than asleep.

“Levi….please don’t say things like that.” Hanji hated it, and wished he’d just stop. Fevered or not, they knew he meant it. That he’d thought it. Because they had too.

“‘S true,” he mumbles. “Can’t get past it. We accept we move...on.” A long yawn. “It’s ok.”

Hanji feels knots in their stomach, and they say absolutely nothing as Levi nods off. How could he say such things so casually? _Does he think like that every single day? Oh god...how miserable._ It seemed like a terrible way to live. They shake their head. _Impossible._ They refused to accept it. _You’re overthinking it, Han…_ Looking back at him, they feel an unease rise. That same reoccurring feeling they got, always at the worst times. Now, instead of preventing schoolwork, it was preventing sleep. Fears of the future. What if this wasn’t the right career field? Seeing Levi so sick makes them wonder about other patients they’d have. _What if I can’t save them? What if there’s a hopeless case? Am I just going to learn to blindly accept it? Seems cold...please don’t go away Levi...don’t go someplace I can’t follow._

“Mm...why are you crying?”

“Huh?” Hanji hadn’t even noticed. “When did you wake up?”

“When you started crying.” Or some time before that. He’d originally woken up to get a blanket, feeling cold now. “Why you crying?”

Hanji frowns some. They didn’t want to admit it. “You’re dreaming. Go back to sleep.”

“No I’m not,” he argues sleepily, rubbing an eye. “What’s wrong?”

They had a feeling that telling him what was really on their mind was just going to make him upset, guilty. He didn’t need that when sick. “Nothing I just had a bad dream,” Hanji smiles. A hand goes to his forehead. “You still feel warm. You really should sleep.”

“Bad dream…” He isn’t sure if he believes it, but nothing is quite making sense to him at the moment. “You sleep.”

“Alright, Levi. I sleep.” No point in arguing. “Night night, sicky.”

“I’m Levi.”

“Right. Night night, _Levi_.” They want to scream as he clings to them, sweaty and warm, but they just let it happen. Who needed sleep anyways? A hand lazily rests in his hair and they are completely silent as they wait it out. They had to assure he was asleep. And once they were sure, the thoughts crept in again, and the tears continued until they dozed off at some early point in the morning.

Getting Levi out of bed is a nearly impossible task. He is making extra sure to remind Hanji just how stubborn he is. He has a deathgrip on the bedpost, refusing to see a doctor. “I know you said that last night. I said no.”

“No, you said ‘you see a doctor’. So I am. With you. Come on you stubborn child.” They wrap arms around his waist and try to yank him free.

“No,” he groans, his grip just getting tighter. “I just need t’ sleep it off. Let me go.”

“We’re just going to get some fucking medication, Levi-- stop being a child.” Clearly after two hours of this, Hanji was about done with Levi’s antics. “I’ll bite you.”

“I dare you.” He doesn’t believe they will after all.

“Fine, you asked for it.” Letting him go, they tug his sleeve up and bite down on his arm, and didn’t hold back in the slightest.

Levi had certainly not expected that. He lets go of the bedpost, crying out “Fucking fascist!” as he smacks them with the pillow.

“That doesn’t even make sense, Levi! What are you, twelve?” _This must be some sort of cosmic revenge for how much I purposely annoy him. Patience, Hanji. Patien--_ The thoughts are interrupted when he quite forcefully shoves them away with his foot. “Levi you fucking _shit_! We’re going whether you like it or not. You can’t even think straight!”

“You think straight--” he scoffs, gasping as Hanji finally manages to grab him and drag him off of the bed. “Put me down!”

“Not a chance.” They hold him like a mother holds a screaming child, minus the actual screaming part.

“I fucking hate that place.”

“Sorry to hear but you need it right now. You can’t even remember what day it is and I could probably fry an egg on your forehead it’s so warm.”

“Tch…” He rolls his eyes as he unsuccessfully tries to break free. “That’s gross.”

“It is, isn’t it?” They manage to drag him into the bathroom and lock the door before finally setting him down, in the bathtub of all places because they figured it’d confuse him enough to not try and escape.

But that was out of his mind now. He slouches, chin resting on the edge of the tub. “Why can’t you just make me better, huh? I’d prefer that. Even if you bit me.”

“You asked to be bit. And I can’t just make you better, Levi. I don’t have a degree. Besides, don’t you like your doctor?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s no fun. But come on, Levi.” They’re wondering how they have any patience left with him. “You got to.”

Eventually-- _finally_ \-- he gives in. A bonus is he doesn’t even complain. He sort of just sits there, the entire time. Doesn’t speak, doesn’t argue but doesn’t really cooperate either. Hanji won’t complain. It was better than dealing with an overgrown child. Though at the same time, it worried them. _Meh, he doesn’t talk much anyways...he’s fine._

“So, Levi…” Hanji glances over at him in the passenger seat. “You want to go back to my place? Or I can take you to your uncle’s...or back to school.”

“I should...I should…” He slouches as he tries to think. “Shouldn’t stay with you, can’t just steal your bed. I should go home.” He nods. “Even if Kenny’s there, I dunno.”

“If you want...you wouldn’t be stealing though. I like you.”

“What about your parents?”

“Levi, I meant _my_ place. My apartment.”

“...Oh. Fine, there I guess. Dunno.” Again, he looks ready to fall asleep. “We share? We’re married right?”

“You remember that?” Hanji can’t help but giggle as they start their car. “Yeah, married, kinda. You did give me such a beautiful plastic ring, you did ask me so very eloquently, how could I ever deny such a….proposal…?” They cock their head. “What’s wrong?”

He looks confused, and moreso uncomfortable. Hunched over, he has a hand on his chest and his forehead is pressed again the dashboard. “...probably nothing.”

“Probably?” Hanji raises a brow. “I hate it when you lie. All the time, always lies.” They shake their head. “Dork.”

He’s about to spit out a sarcastic response but starts coughing instead and instead pulls their glasses off their face. Exclusively to annoy.

“You precious loser…”

“-- _Husband_.”


End file.
